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If the vessel of Paulaner is tilted with sufficient conviction, and the seal upon its brim is broken without hesitation, the amber liquid within will answer the call of gravity and intention alike. When brought near enough to Emil, a secondary attractive force manifests, not unlike the pull between a highstorm and the sea, though governed less by nature than by thirst. Under these conditions, the Paulaner may be drawn in a smooth arc through the air and into Emil’s waiting stomach. There it shall vanish into the hidden deeps, to be transmuted into satisfaction, questionable courage, and increasingly confident declarations. ~ Notes on Bavarian Fluid Dynamics, attributed to an tavern scholar, late evening, third round

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