Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield.

Hi, I am a door to door salesman specialising in headsticks. These versatile devices can be attached to your head and allow for an increase in functionality for people whom suffer from 'downing out'. Please let me know if such a product interests you.