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My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a ♥♥♥♥♥-ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-♥♥♥♥♥♥' quilly ♥♥♥♥ out and he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wife, and he said his ♥♥♥♥ was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com : Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small ♥♥♥♥. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. [Explosion sounds] That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna ♥♥♥♥ the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DRRROPLLLETS hit the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Earth, now get outta my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sight, before I piss on you too!