Good afternoon sir, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty

Hello iTannerz, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) male, and I am under the presumption that this God is you? I am quite popular around here, so if you require guidance, please throw me a DM. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. Before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many men often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any male that comes my way, unlike my peers. Rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socialising experience. Consider me a Player 2, a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play CS2, and are you good at clutching? I am a CS2 aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course)

═══════════ ═════════════ Cool Guy Let’s be friends for future games Have a wonderful year Stay safe & take care +REP The profile is fire ═════════════════════════

So, my friend Tanners thinks he's getting all fancy by putting the letter "i" in front of his name and doing it with any word. Like, iKurwa. I mean, come on, Tanners, you're not fooling anyone with your i-Tanners shenanigans! Pretty soon he'll be insisting we call him iTanners like he's some kind of trendy tech product. Sorry buddy, but no amount of "i" before your name is going to make you the next iPhone. Keep dreaming!

We all want a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle But which one could turn you into Squirtle Move your tongue into a circle The right spot is universal Even better if you can have two Lickitung will never chew He will slurp you up like a bowl of soup And wouldn’t care if you’re Leonardo Blue