| was at my aunties funeral and | touched her boob by accident but that sit still felt so squishy and soft and at that moment I was harder than a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ rock. I told my parents that I wanted some alone time with her and say my final words when in reality i was feeling her up in her casket and my dek was just bursting with nut inside her tes felt so soft bruh

so there this poop stain on my toilet bowl. its vertical, 15cm in length 5cm wide and has a 3 degree angled posterior curve. I have been battling said ♥♥♥♥ stain for weeks, when today, I stand up proudly to take a piss. I let out a slightly above average, medium heft stream (i can conjure up some impressive streams). And whilst letting this beauty sing out of my snake, I see a few flakes of said ♥♥♥♥ stain finally fall off. Instantly, I am hit with a dompinuergenic rush like no other. I have finally started to defeat my greatest enemy, this ♥♥♥♥ stain, slowly, but surely...

when told there was a female on the team, he started breathing deeply into the mic making such bafoonish noises that his parents sedated him mid match. I just hope the child he is fathering and was in the background asking for food because "all they had was his leftover mcdonalds order" turns 18 and leaves this monster of a teammate. +rep

I went to the bathroom to pee before lunch, i didnt really have to go i just wanted to do it proactively so i wouldnt have to go later at a less optimal time. Im extremely piss shy, i hate the idea of peeing next to someone at a urinal it feels so embarrassing and the pee never comes out! Anyone else have this? So i always go to the stall to pee. This time its me and this BBC, he walks into the stall next to me. I start me pee stream and its kinda quiet and weak. I can tell the BBC is laughing at my subhuman stream, he whips it out and produces the most girthful and powerful stream ive ever experienced. Mogs me to gandy with his beautiful Lucious stream. I truly want to end it

+rep made my hole weak